Attending a Saying Goodbye Service
The Saying Goodbye (SG) services are the first International services of remembrance for anyone who has suffered the loss of a baby, at any stage of pregnancy, at birth or in infancy. In addition, anyone who has been through fertility treatment or who have never been able to have children for whatever reason, are most welcome. These take place in Cathedrals, Minsters and Abbey’s across the UK, France and US, and full information on the services can be found on the Remembrance Services page. Below are some questions about the SG services, that the charity get asked a lot, and answers, which we hope may give some clarity:
Who is the service for?
The services are for anyone who has lost a baby in pregnancy, at birth or in early years, whether the loss was recent or 80 years ago. In addition, anyone who has been through fertility treatment or who have never been able to have children for whatever reason, are most welcome.
Do I need a specific faith to attend?
No the services are for anyone of any faith or no faith.
Can other members of my family attend a service?
Yes – SG services are for the whole family, so whether you have personally lost a baby, a grandchild, or perhaps lost a sibling, you are very welcome to attend.
Is it ok for people to bring babies and children?
Yes of course you can….SG services are for EVERYONE.
How long is a service?
Around an hour.
How early should I get to a service?
30-minutes prior is ideal, but feel free to arrive at any time.
If I am coming alone to a service, will there be others I can sit with?
If you are coming alone and would like to sit with a member of the team, please just make it known to the team on the door, and they will arrange for someone to sit alongside you.
What can I expect from a service?
A wonderful service where you and everyone else honour the baby you have lost, and we publicly say our babies matter however short their lives were in the womb or post birth.
Do I need to be ready emotionally?
NO! The service will meet you where you are at, thus why they are suitable for people who have lost their baby yesterday or many years ago.
As they are called Saying Goodbye services does that mean I need to say goodbye once and for all to my baby?
NO! The name saying goodbye is about saying goodbye to the darkest grief so many people carry, so in time each person can remember their baby with a smile. Grief is sadly a lifelong journey, but how we carry that grief can truly change how we live our lives. As a charity we hope to be able to help each person carry the load and believe by honouring each baby lost and connecting with people personally we can remove feelings of isolation and desperation.
Can I attend more than one service?
Of course, you are welcome at as many services as you wish to attend.
Am I welcome if I had a failed IVF attempt(s)?
YES of course you are, this was a loss and the services are for ANYONE who has lost.
Am I welcome to attend a service if I have never lost a child, but grieve the fact I cannot have children?
Yes you are very welcome.